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How Change Makes Space for Something New
When you think you are dying you might actually be in the middle of coming back to life. I love fall because it teaches us this. The air turns crisp and the ground gets colorful and crunchy from the fallen leaves and limbs. The flourishing of spring and summer has...
This Is How to Find Your Place in the Family of Things
This year, the maples all turned purple. They usually die all at once in an explosion of blood red and burning orange. This year, though, it looks as if they all got together—had a tree-meeting of sorts—and agreed to die differently. Purple, at first, instead of red....
How Your Phone Is Robbing You of You
My son is waiting by the road for his ride to school. I remember being fourteen and waiting for my ride to school. Sometimes, I would try to walk the balance beam of railroad ties separating our yard from the shoulder of the road. But I bored of that quickly. Then, I...
How to Survive Holiday Cheer When Loss Leaves You Cheerless
One year ago, I'm in my childhood home celebrating thanksgiving far away from the imminent Chicago winter. Everywhere I look, I see “holiday cheer.” I can’t hide from it. And normally, I don’t want to. As a self-described Lover of All Things Elf Culture, I live for...
A Shrink Analyzes His Own Nightmare
I haven’t had a recurring nightmare since childhood. Until recently. It begins with me standing in our kitchen, looking out upon our front yard. Then, suddenly, a large black-and-white conversion van comes barreling recklessly up our driveway toward the house. It...
Why Therapy Will Make a Mess of Your Life
It’s 6 months after moving into my apartment. I look around, seeing evidence of a lived in space. There’s a throw blanket on the chair closest to a window with glass marked by the nose prints of a curious dog. A small pile of books, a sketchbook, and pens are...
How Can You Trust Your Therapist’s Authority?
Confession: the first time I went to therapy, I’d been a therapist for more than five years. I asked a friend for a recommendation. He gave me the name of a therapist. I conveniently lost the number. Several weeks later, I asked him for it again, and he gave it to me...
What a Dog Knows About Loving and Living Well
I hop out of my car and into the morning sun, followed by an eager ball of fur whose name, Dash, matches his spirit. He is thrilled to be back at the dog beach. I am too, because this is where I am certain I will develop my idea for the perfect blog post… a post on...
This Is What Therapy Cannot Do For You (Says the Therapist)
“How does this work?” It’s the first question many therapy clients ask. Those who don’t are probably just being polite. And it should be the first question. When I go to a medical doctor, I want to know what they’re doing and how it will heal my body. It’s totally...
How Beauty Uncovers Your Deepest Truths
Every Monday, I stop by the store on my way to work, taking time to carefully choose the flowers that most call to me. With senses on high alert, I wonder over the colors, the smells, the contours, and the softness of the petals, quietly observing the many...
